Very likely the people around you are never going to tell you that now you’re an adult, that now you know, let alone trust that you really are capable of taking your own decisions and actions without their advice and support. What does it mean: adulthood? We all know it’s not when your body has stopped growing in length, when you turn 18 or 21 or 30, and we all know that life makes sure we never stop growing in any of our four bodies anyway. So when are we mature? I’ve decided today is the day.
No I don’t have all the answers, no I don’t own a house, I don’t know if I can manage maintaining a close relationship over time or raising children, but I can clearly see that I’ll never have and know any of those things unless I take risks. I’ve decided to do just that: life is here to be lived and despite any goals and visions about the future, that means here and now today in this place with all that is and is not.
I also see other people will forever criticize the way I do things simply because I am not them. I have a choice though. Either I can let it stop me or I can allow it to fuel my determination to do things my way, as the truest self-expression of my soul. The only way I’ll ever be fulfilled is by me choosing and acting from my essence. Life does not happen in our heads and there are no guarantees. Whatever is, just is. Even if it all comes down and falls into pieces, it’s still better to have lived an eventful life full of successes and lessons (so-called failures) than to have stood by the side-lines only commenting on others.
The only way to live fully out loud is by allowing myself to make mistakes, to be both the victim and the culprit, both the teacher and the student. And if I’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that the right choice simply does not exist. Life is a kaleidoscope full of surprises, it’s a rollercoaster ride and then we die, and that’s just what it was intended to be. So I’m going to sit down and make some very bold decisions towards some very bold actions.
Life is bigger than our preconceived plans and ideas. Even if we consciously take carefully controlled, neatly measured steps into a particular direction, what life delivers could hardly have been planned and predicted in exactly that way. It’s as if we’re cooking up a meal and every time we turn our backs, someone secretly throws some unknown ingredients into the pot. Life is a mysterious co-creation. The only way we will ever have any substantial meal to taste and devour, is by trusting that life adds just the right spices to give the dish its extraordinary zest. That, however, requires letting go of control and mustering up trust, surrender and a sense of playfulness that borders on a lightness of being.
What are the choices you’ve been toying with without taking a decision? And what could you still decide today if instead of trying to choose the right option you were to choose the most vibrant and bold one?
By Mieke Beurskens